The Glory of Weakness

Been experiencing much frustration, fear, and weakness myself lately, so this especially spoke to me when I received it in my email today.

The Glory of Weakness (by Sister Joan Chittister)

“In my weakness is my strength,” Paul writes (2 Cor .12:10). I never understood that passage nor did I like it until, struck with polio as a young woman, I began to realize that if I ever walked again, it would not be thanks to me, it would be thanks to everyone around me who formed the human chain that kept me human. When I could not move, they carried me. When I could not work, they found functions for me that justified my existence. When I could not find a reason for going on, they liked me enough to give me back a sense of human connectedness. When I could not cure myself they cured me of the clay of my limits and turned them into life again. They taught me the glories of weakness.

When I most of all wanted to be strong and like no other time in life found myself defined by my weaknesses, I began to understand the great question of life. If I do not need other people, what can I ever learn? And if I do not need other people, what is their own purpose in life, what is their claim on my own gifts when they need me as I have needed them. The moment I come to realize that it is precisely the gifts which I do not myself embody that make me claimant to the gifts of others — and they of mine — marks the moment of my spiritual beginning. Suddenly, creaturehood becomes gift and power and the beginning of unlimited personal growth.

But personal development is not the only by-product of a holy consciousness of creaturehood. The comprehension of human need, the awareness of human accountability also makes the massacres in Darfur and the poverty in Bangladesh both more understandable and more tragic. To expect God to stop such travesties, to wait for God to solve such sin begs the question of culpability, avoids the accountability that comes with creaturehood.

We do not need God to solve such things. There is no need, no value, nothing to be gained by God’s saving what we will not. “God hears the cry of the poor,” the psalmist reminds us. The psalm says not a word about God changing things, only that God “hears.” And remembers. And waits for us to become more than we are. Like infants born with the potential to be adults, we are each created with the potential to become wholly human, totally mature, completely spiritual people.

— from In Search of Belief (Liguori) by Joan Chittister

From this week's Ideas in Passing. [You can get "Ideas in Passing" by signing up for Sister Joan's email newsletter here.]

Easter - It's Time to Step into the Light

There is an old story about a rabbi who gathered all his students together very early one morning while it was still dark. He asked them to pay attention because he had an important question to ask them.

The question was this: How could they tell when night had ended and the new day was dawning?

They thought for a while, and finally one student answered: “Could it be when you see an animal and can tell whether it is a sheep or a dog?”

“No,” the rabbi answered.

Another student asked: “Could it be when you look at a tree in the distance and can identify its fruit?”

Once again, the rabbi answered, “No.”

After a few more guesses, the students demanded to know. “Well, what is it then?”

The rabbi replied, “It is when you look upon the face of any woman or man and see that she is your sister and that he is your brother. If you cannot do this, then no matter what the hour, it is still night.”

That teaching is echoed in the First Letter of St. John:

“...I am writing you a new commandment that is true in [Jesus Christ] and in you.... Whoever says, “I am in the light,” while hating a brother or sister, is still in the darkness. (1 John. 2:8b-9)

Easter extends to each and every one of us the invitation to come out of darkness and into the light of the risen Christ. It is this light that beckons us to stop loitering in the dark, to stop hanging around the graveyards of life, because it is a light that enables us to embrace hope. It suggests that we are too quick to pronounce the last word on other people.

When Jesus conquers death, nobody can be written off as a lost cause.

The two Marys went to the Lord’s tomb on Sunday morning in the same way that you and I, in our grief, might go visit the grave of a loved one. It was there that they experienced the miracle.

As the light of day began to fill the heavens, the son of God was rising from his grave. Jesus rose, he appeared to them and later to his disciples, and the power of Easter began to work in their lives.

In the coming days and weeks, those disciples were transformed from a disorganized band of people floundering in despair, into a unified witness, a powerful group of missionaries who set out to carry the message of Easter to all who would listen.

Everywhere that the good news was heard, the power of Easter began to work in the lives of other people, just as it had in their own. Beautiful things began to happen. Despair gave way to hope; darkness gave way to light; hatred gave way to love; sorrow gave way to joy — and it all happened because the power of Easter began to transform people and work miracles in their lives.

Those transformations and miracles haven’t stopped; they continue to take place each and every day.

Easter happens whenever we dry our tears, brush ourselves off and start over. It happens whenever we have an experience that renews our faith. It happens whenever light begins to shatter the darkness. Easter invites us to open our hearts to the risen Lord, and to let him do for us what he did for those first disciples.

The good news of Easter is that the risen Christ is in our midst ready to infuse the dryness of everyday life with the glory and excitement of God’s new creation. It is the good news that nothing need defeat us, because Jesus’ victory can be ours.

And that’s why Christians throughout the ages have gathered together on this day. In communities large and small, in great city cathedrals and small country churches, people gather to offer their praise and thanksgiving to God for the gift of Resurrection life. Come and join hands, hearts and voices with us, as we declare that he lives!

Alleluia!

[Guest editorial in the Observer-Dispatch]

Urgent prayer requests

I don't know if anyone reads here anymore. I'm afraid I've barely kept up with others' blogs, let alone my own, of late, for various reasons, none of which are worth detailing. I'm just very tired and dazed but compared to most, I have every reason to count my blessings.

I just got off the phone with a dear, dear friend who is having a terrible time and asks that she and her daughter be put on a prayer list or prayer chain, especially for the next month or two. I won't reveal all the details but let's just say that it's nasty post-divorce stuff with her ex-husband -- she has been doing all that she was supposed to per the divorce decree about trying to sell their home by May, when their daughter graduates from high school and the alimony and child support ends but now he is trying to screw everything up, legally, financially, and emotionally. This is typical behavior from a man who has long been abusive, but at least since the divorce several years ago he was mostly absent from their lives (had nothing to do with his daughter, his only child, for years until a month or so ago). Please pray that they get through the sale of the home and can move away far enough so he will not bother them anymore, and finally find some peace and happiness. Please include Christine and Elizabeth in your prayers.

Pray also for others struggling with financial and emotional hardships, especially those with greater burdens and obstacles created by the current financial climate. The husband in another family I know was missing for several hours last night until they found him alone in his car crying. He has been unemployed now since last fall and is deep in despair. Please pray for M. and his family.

Then there is Rick, who just arrived in Bangkok to teach for 3 years. He was denied tenure in the public school system here and was unable to find any other work. He leaves his family behind here in New York and hopes to make enough money to send back to help support them.

And as always, there is Sophia, who is having a very tough time, as well, but for whom I hope and pray daily will soon find her way forward.

Thank you. This is a sad, difficult time for so many.

Dancing with the Stars - Part I

This is what goes on around here while I'm working. (No, no, no -- it's not me -- the diet doesn't work that well).

Dancing with the Stars - Part II

Big Fat Lies

Webcast of lecture by Gary Taubes at Stevens Institute of Technology, Center for Science Writings, Hoboken, NJ, USA, 2/6/2008 -- "Big Fat Lies"

Flamenco Vivo Carlota Santana

Flamenco Vivo Carlota Santana residency at Guideway Elementary School

I saw this troupe perform Friday night. They were wonderful. There are some other videos and YouTube and at the company's website (follow link on name above), but I really liked this one showing them teaching and performing for school kids.

Note remaining 2008-09 tour dates:

March 3, 2009

Hayes Performing Arts Center

Blowing Rock, NC

(828) 295-9627

March 6, 2009

Turnage Theater

Washington, NC

(252) 975-1191

March 8, 2009

Center Stager, Reston Community Cente

Reston, VA

(703) 476-4500

March 10, 2009

Quick Center, St. Bonaventure University

St. Bonaventure, NY

(716) 375-2494

March 13, 2009

The Egg

Albany, NY

(518) 473-1845

A Service of the Blessing of the Sea

The Cathedral of All Saints - St. Thomas, U.S.V.I.

A Service of the Blessing of the Sea
February 1, 2009 at 5:00 p.m.

Today we celebrate this traditional service of the Blessing of the Sea. It begins with Evening Prayer, then there is a procession to the Water Front, where the prayers are offered for the ships that ply our waters and all who sail in them; for our Navy, for those whose livelihood depends upon the sea, and for all who have perished at sea. The Blessing of the Seat follows and the floral wreath [the shape of the Cross] is placed in the water. We then return to the Cathedral for a closing service



Assembling at the Cathedral for the procession to the waterfront.



The Very Rev. Ashton J. Brooks, Dean of the Cathedral (with biretta)



The University of the Virgin Islands band leads us singing "Onward Christian Soldiers" down the streets of Charlotte Amalie





Reaching the harbor



Prayers for "The blessing of the ships which ply our waters and all who voyage therein," "For those who have gone down at sea," "For the Navy," and finally "The Blessing of the Sea," which ends:

Almighty God who rulest the raging of the sea, stretch forth thine almighty arm to bless our waters and all whose livelihood comes therefrom. Give us a grateful sense of all thy mercies and bring us to everlasting life, through Jesus Christ our Lord.





Preparing to place the wreath in the sea



The wreath is placed in the water


Processing back to the Cathedral with candles and flashlights, singing "The Church's One Foundation."

The Morality of Hunger

I've recently learned, not to my surprise, that I am insulin resistant, a.k.a. pre-diabetes. I have a family history of diabetes but have pretty much ignored it until now because my fasting glucose tests generally have been within normal ranges. However, more recent and thorough testing has revealed insulin resistance as well a fasting glucose level that has increased toward the high end of so-called "normal" according to even ADA diagnostic criteria.

When reviewing these test results with a new doctor, I was told that raging hunger can be a symptom of insulin resistance, with the strange effect that one can eat and remain hungry or become more hungry after awhile. When I got home, I started doing some online research and found an amazing website called Blood Sugar 101 and its companion, What They Don't Tell You About Low-Carb Diets.

While it is not true that all diabetics are overweight or that all overweight people are diabetic or pre-diabetic, for those of us who are both or suspect that there is something strange about our hunger patterns, the information all over these websites is invaluable. Of particular interest to me were the following pages:

Misdiagnosis by Design: The Story Behind the ADA Diagnostic Criteria

You Did Not Eat Your Way to Diabetes

A Diabetes Diet is Different from a Weight Loss Diet

Another good article is the following from the Blood Sugar 101 update blog:

Hunger is a Symptom

Our fat-hating society has transferred all the loathing we used to feel for blatant displays of greed, lust, and pride to a single sin, gluttony. The rest of those erstwhile sins now have transformed into the characteristics of the celebrities we admire.

This has had the unfortunate side effect of making people who find themselves feeling extremely hungry believe that they are suffering a moral lapse--gluttony--rather than recognizing that they are experiencing a medical symptom.

But the raging muchies--the kind of hunger that leaves you at the open fridge shoveling in everything in sight--is a symptom. You can induce it in an otherwise normal person with a couple of tokes of pot. You also see it in millions of otherwise normal women a few days before they get their period.

And sadly, it is a symptom that often emerges along with insulin resistance in people who have the genetic make up that leads to Type 2 diabetes because insulin resistance is a prime factor that leads to raging hunger.

Read the rest here.

There are also links to other helpful webpages and sites, including this:

The Truth About Bariatic Surgery

and... I love this one,

Low Carb Friends Forum - "Food Porn"

Back Home

Well, I've been back home with the snows for a week now and once again am buried with work and what life is left when I put it aside. We had a wonderful time in St. Thomas. Our hosts were wonderful to be with and generous not only with sharing their time and their home with us but also allowing us to do what we wanted most -- spend our days at the beach in Magens Bay soaking up the sun, swimming in the ocean, reading books and otherwise relaxing. We ate dinners in and out, attended church and Bible Study at the Cathedral Church of All Saints, went to see Milk at the local movie theater, and attended a Arts Society concert featuring the young British pianist, Richard Ormrod. We also had long talks about life, love, politics, church, etc.

When I go on vacation I take a big bag of books and select volumes more or less on a whim. Often, however, some connecting themes emerge even though my selections are pretty random. What I ended up reading this time were the following: To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee (our book club's selection for this month), Brushed by the Butterfly's Wings by E. Scott Tapscott ("Scottie," a friend of our hosts). Taft by Ann Patchett, The Mission Song by John le Carre, and a good chunk of Leap by Terry Tempest Williams.

Someday I might write about some of the thoughts that percolated up during vacation, but alas there is much to catch up on here. Also, my husband and I have begun a strict diet in hopes of not only losing a lot of excess weight but also mitigating some of our health problems that may be caused by or aggravated by the weight and poor nutrition.

I also hope that it will give me more energy, help me get back to exercising (I love to swim laps but the thought of getting dressed, driving to the pool, and appearing in a bathing suit has kept me away for most of the past year), and taking longer walks with our dog, Gracie. Despite what had to be the dream vacation of all time, I am still quite depressed -- not the jump off a building kind (I've learned over the years not to let my mind take me to that place, though sometimes I come close) but rather just feeling tired, flat, dull, irritable, with repressed anger and much cynicism, all aggravated by sleeping too much (been sleeping 12 hours or more at night, even on vacation), going to work in the morning without getting up and getting dressed until late in the day, rarely going out and feeling anxious and uncomfortable around people when I do, taking way too much time to get ready to do anything, etc. If I stop to think about how I feel and have been living, I go to darker places of frustration, hopelessness, and self-loathing, so I try not to think too much -- which causes me to sleep more and more or run to bed and try to. I've been back on anti-depressants now for several months, but that hasn't seemed to have helped much (though I suspect I might be much worse off without them).

So... here's hoping that things will get better with the new diet regime and what I've been learning about blood sugar levels. I've been plotting in my mind a new daily routine that would include getting up early to go walk at the local shopping mall (they open early in the winter for people to walk) followed by mass at St. Margaret's and spending some more time with the nuns, who will be leaving next summer, and then maybe trying to get away to swim at lunch time. But... it's been a week so far and it hasn't happened yet and there is a lot of work to catch up on and to start preparing for attending and presenting at my employer's annual conference in Seattle next month, and there are books piling up to read, and soccer games and practices and tournaments to attend and.... not to mention getting caught up someday with the goings on in the blogosphere (though not sure how much of the As the Anglican World Turns I need to read up on -- like most soap operas, one can pretty much jump in the middle after being gone for weeks and still not miss much). So..... that's the update. La plus ca change and all that.