Monday, August 25, 2008

Going Home



This photo was taken near the end of the second visit I paid to the Midwest this summer, in late July and early August. It may well mark my mother's last visit to her home and undoubtedly the last family meal on the porch, one of her favorite places in the whole world. Not only was it the site of family meals, reading, playing games, and all sorts of informal gatherings of friends and family during seasonable weather, it was used on occasion in the cold and snow (one I recall offhand was members of the bridal party at my first wedding lighting and dancing with sparklers on a snowy late November day).

This "new" porch furniture, the porch, and the house itself will be soon up for sale. Meanwhile, Mother remains temporarily at a nursing home trying to build up her strength to travel. The plan for her to leave after my second visit never materialized when she was hospitalized for a week with some new and old problems and generally left in a much weakened condition, I went out to visit for yet a third trip in hopes that I could both keep her company and help determine whether she could travel as planned. In the end, we decided to wait yet again, and she has returned to the nursing home near her home for the time being. Meanwhile, the sale of the house and its contents is proceeding. It will never be the same as she and I last saw it.

I don't know when and if I will write about these trips. Every time there seems to be a sort of ending or resolution, things change. I have had wonderful friends and family lending their ear to the mixed feelings and concerns I have had. Meanwhile, we hope and pray that my mother will find the strength and the wherewithal to get to where she wants and needs to be.

6 comments:

FranIAm said...

Oh dear Klady- so many prayers for your mom, for you, for your family.

So many prayers...

o-mom said...

I remember so many good times on that porch and the surrounding rooms. All things must pass, yet these remain warm places in our hearts.

sharecropper said...

If your Mom finds the strength and wherewithal to get where she wants and needs to be, will that be in the arms of God?

That question notwithstanding, I am praying for your Mom and you and for whoever buys the house withe porch that they may make as many good memories as you have.

Sending love along, too.

klady said...

Thank you Fran and Margaret for your prayers; o-mom, as always, for memories and much more.

Where she wants and needs to be? Yes, that's an open question in many respects, though it is most likely that she will finally get to the Seattle area in the coming weeks and from there, eventually, a permanent home in the assisting living or full care facility of her choice. Whether that will bring her some kind of physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual peace remains to be seen. She's in the midst of a great struggle, and she is unwilling to speak to anyone (as far as us family and the nursing home staff can tell) about it directly. When and how she will reach out to God's arms and find them and the comfort and care she needs -- whether in Illinois, Washington, New York, or the great beyond -- is something only she and God can know.

the Reverend boy said...

Prayers and thoughts ascending for your mother ... I recently visited my grandfather in North Carolina and saw how much his body is failing him ... he is very much present and in his mind, but is also very aware of how weak he is and more or less doesn't leave his "suite" in the house. My father and I don't know how much longer he'll be around.

I know this is not nearly the same as what you are going through, but felt like I should share it with you.

I do hope everything works out somehow.

ALl best and all hugs,

the Reverend boy

klady said...

Belated thanks, Reverend boy. It is the same, in a way for all -- the ghosts and whispers of a person trapped in a body that is deteriorating.

Thank you so much for your good wishes.